st helens news

George Osbourne Plans To Send Children Down The Mines

Radical plans by the government to send children as young as four down the mines have been uncovered by our reporter. The one page...
stuttgart st helens twin towns

St Helens Townsfolk To Receive Free Porsche Sports Car

Rumours are circulating that each of the towns citizens will soon be able to claim a free Porsche sports car. The famous car manufacturer is...
Why do we have eggs at Easter

Why Do We Have Eggs At Easter?

In an attempt to get an answer to this ever popular question we invited several members of the cloth to a small meeting and...
Oscars Boycott 2016

Fat People To Boycott Oscars

Portly people from around the world are standing united by boycotting the forthcoming 2016 Oscar Awards. A spokesperson for the Slightly Obese foundation told SHCN...
St Helens Gritters

Road Gritters To Spread Twiglets On The Roads During Cold Snap

St Helens MBC have confirmed that at least two road gritter trucks have been deployed several times over the past few days. A spokesperson for...
Mark Zuckerberg hoax

Mark Zuckerberg Is Giving Away Both His Lungs

Facebook founder and multi billionaire Mark Zuckerberg has recently been at the centre of a huge hoax that resulted in thousands of stupid people...
st helens fire stations

Eccleston And Parr Fire Stations To Close

Plans have been approved to close the towns two fire stations, Millfields in Eccleston and Parr Stocks Road. They will be replaced with a...
vintage clothing St Helens

New Retro Clothing Store Appeals To Pretentious Pricks

A new retro clothing store called Gullible is due to open in the town centre this week. The store that will sell second hand clothes...
Adele miserable

Adele Urged To Lighten The Fuck Up!

Multiple Grammy and Brit Award winner Adele has been urged by relationship specialists RELATE to suck it up and move on. Miserable Bitch A spokesperson for...
UK defence changes 2025

Cameron Pledges To Have The UK Ready To Deal With Terrorism...

Prime Minister, David Cameron has pledged to have the UK ready to deal with terror attacks by 2025. The leader, famous for his penchant for...