Batman fans the world over can breathe a sigh of relief as we reveal that Batman isn’t dead! Fears that the superhero had died during “The Dark Knight Rises” are unfounded.
A St Helens estate agent who wishes to remain anonymous purely because his name rhymes with “knob jockey” told SHCN that they had a visit from a Mr Wayne this morning who was looking to buy a semi detached in either the Windle or Eccleston area of St Helens. His budget is believed to be around £300k and he is looking for a new home that offers a “cavernous” living area.
The estate agent who remains anonymous told us “It was quite obviously Batman, I’ve maintained all along that he wasn’t dead, it’s just a bloody movie for gods sake, it’s fiction. They can’t go about just killing superheroes willy nilly. It’d have been a cinematic effect. He didn’t even have a charred look about him. I do suspect however that he’s probably handed the reins over to the boy wonder. He did have a more relaxed look about him and he was wearing beige slacks. His budget would suggest that he no longer has the funds that he once did”.
It is understood that Mr Wayne left the estate agents with details for a number of properties for sale that he plans to view. Meanwhile another reader sent us this photograph of what appears to be the Batmobile parked on double yellows at the top of Barrow St this morning. Proof indeed that Batman is alive and well and in St Helens!