Word has it that the next series of Channel 5’s Celebrity Big Brother will not only be held in St. Helens – with the usual cast of has-been z list celebs – but will be augmented by local A list celebs.
Whilst the final line up of local stars has yet to be confirmed, the show’s executive producer – Tristan Fanwick – hinted discussions were at an advanced level with Johnny Wellies, Marie Rimmer, Purple Ackie, Johnny Vegas, Monkeh and Rugby League legend and former Saint’s favourite Sean Long.
Whilst the location of the CBB house is a secret, it is thought that the show will be filmed at the old transport cafe on the East Lanc’s Road, which has recently been tarted up.
Tristan, or Tris, as he insists on being addressed, explained that the legal teams were at the final stages of drawing up the Reciprical Behaviour Contracts which all participants must sign and abide by when in the House. When pressed on the matter Tris explained that it included things like when the celebs get into the hot tub, the obligatory Page 3 trollop will remove her swim suit top and flash her tits, whereas Marrie Rimmer will keep her cossie on and won’t be flashing anything.
Also Purple Ackie will be under strict orders not to feel Sean Long’s muscles, and in return Longy will not feel Purp’s throat.
Johnny Vegas and Monkeh also hope to lay to rest the vile rumour that they are not bessie mates in real life.
Filming starts in a fortnight and the show airs 31st November at 9pm.
Story by Arthur Skant