The Institute of Research have recently conducted a survey that shows a staggering 89% of people over the age of 30 seem to recall that Summer was better when they were children. The data from the survey was passed to the National research centre who today have made a startling announcement.
After studying the weather over the past 50 years scientists have reached the conclusion that Summer has always been shit but that when we look at old photos it always looks clear, warm and sunny. This lead to a further investigation that revealed camera technology has progressed so much especially on mobile devices that photos taken now actually represent the true picture whereas a Box Brownie or a Polaroid camera produced a snap that had a distinct rose tint to it thus giving the impression that Summers were good, Winters were cold and that tank tops were acceptable to wear in public.
The Minister for the Environment confirmed that the UK Governemnt had entered talks with lens suppliers to the mobile phone industry requesting that they replace the HD lens with shit ones on all future models, In addition the software on the phones should randomly stick exposure warning labels on some photos for authenticity.
In an interview with our reporter he told us “The rise in popularity of Instagram and other apps that make photographs look like they were taken in the 1970s prove that people thought they were happier times, if we adapt the current technology to mimic this then we’re hoping for retro photos to fill peoples Facebook timelines which will result in better Summers, a return of Abba, white dog shit, Morris Marinas, Mini Skirts and some free loving”. He went on to say, “If this works and lifts the spirits of the UK people then we may introduce some other measures, we’re already discussing bringing back VHS players, digital watches with musical alarms, Embassy no.6 and fingering.