Home Headlines Eccleston And Parr Fire Stations To Close

Eccleston And Parr Fire Stations To Close

Plans have been approved to close the towns two fire stations, Millfields in Eccleston and Parr Stocks Road. They will be replaced with a new facility in Canal St.

Over the past few years, the number of firefighters and fire engines have been reduced by 33% leaving just 24 full time fire engines to cover the whole of Merseyside.

Merseyside Fire And Rescue, which, despite previous cuts still maintain one of the best response times in the UK will now have to make a further £11 million in cuts over the next five years.

We spoke with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine who has been advising central government recently and he told us “something something something dark side”, he then went on to say “A new facility will be constructed in Canal St and we expect it to be fully operational very shortly, only then will you witness the true power of the Merseyside Fire And Rescue Service”

A spokesperson for the institute of cutbacks commented “24 fire engines is sufficient, we’re having all the regions firefighters undergo surgery next month to have a 40 litre bladder installed. That way, we can just keep them topped up with water during a shift and should they need to they can catch the bus to an emergency and simply piss on the fire, it will save the country millions”.