Radical plans by the government to send children as young as four down the mines have been uncovered by our reporter. The one page document, that is written on a famous chain coffee napkin simply says “Kids down pit”.
The napkin was discovered by a coffee drinker yesterday evening as he sat at a table that had just been vacated by the chancellor George Osbourne. It’s understood however that his evil plan will be thwarted thanks to the distinct lack of operational mines.
On the reverse of the napkin was a crude drawing that looks a bit like the death star so god only knows what the government have planned next!