Residents in Sutton have been told to stay indoors after giant moths invaded Sutton Swimming pool causing chaos and fear.
The giant moths that would normally be seen fluttering around the moon and the floodlights at Langtree Park have for some unknown reason decided to invade the swimming pool and have begun already to strip out the copper from the boiler room, empty vending machines of energy drinks and crisps, a rip out a number of shower fittings and tiles.
Council leisure facilities manager Duncan Spudgoo said “we have worked hard to try and keep the pool open and have spent considerable time and money on fly paper and Raid but to no avail. The next step is to completley mothball the pool which should sort the fuckers out. They must be attracted to the lights and the smell of chlorine” he continued, “It could be that they have a liking for the waterproof grout, its a good job that the council had the foresight to refurbish Parr baths, at least the people of Sutton will have somewhere other than the Hotties to go and swim”
A spokesman for the council told us “We are unable to help with the problem at Sutton as our funds are low after we spent them all on a big fuckin white head in Sutton Manor so the local artists somewhere to practice their graffiti. We had too many baths in St Helens anyway”
by Ivan Eggsandwich