Halloween Hell

Halloween Hell

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bigginsThe Sutton and Clock Face Residents Association have been in talks with St Helens Council and Merseyside Police over concerns about the upcoming Halloween festivities. Teenagers have caused mayhem in neighbourhoods around Sutton, Clock Face and Peasley Cross with their high jinx and buffoonery all year round, with their off road motorbikes, swearing and menacing hoodies. During the Halloween weekend however the teenagers are joined by younger gangs of goulish and ghostly kids who have in recent years been increasingly demanding of sweets and money from homeowners. “they think nothing of knocking on your door, staring you in the face and shouting ‘trick or treat’, it’s very worrying and scary” said local woman Ada Semion. “The younger ones are worse than the teenagers” said Big Dave from Clock, “they have no fear whatsoever and can be extremely intimidating with their witches getups and sinister masks and turnips, they’re gonna end up givin someone a funny turn” he added from outside the Clock Hotel.

Bellend

Christopher Biggins, a professional Halloween Counsellor and Pantomime fool told SHCN  “I am working closely with the Council and the Police to ensure that this years Halloween fun does not impact upon the people of St Helens quality of life, we can offer these simple steps to avoid any trickery and confrontation: Switch off all your lights and pretend your not in Go to the Market and buy large quantities of out of date toffee and sweets to appease the ghouls and ghosts Put a picture of Jimmy Savile on the front door (or Christopher biggins).

Eddie Evostick