Talks are underway to start filming a new reality TV show in St Helens, based on the popular show, I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, the new format is to be filmed in Westfield St in St Helens and is called I’m A Celebrity Get Me A Beer.
A spokesperson for ITV told us ” We’re really excited about this project, basically it involves celebrities, in the loosest sense of the word, spending an evening in Westfield St without getting spiked, pissed on or smacked in the face.” He continued “They’ll have to complete challenges that will earn drinks for the team such as find a virgin, snog a 16 pinter, take a duck face selfie in the bogs whilst avoiding eye contact with the bloke who sells aftershave. And go a full five minutes without bumping into someone on steroids.”
“The final two contestants will go head to head at the end of the night and the winner will be the first one who finds a cab home that isn’t a Skoda Octavia, An extra bonus prize will be awarded if they don’t ask the driver what time he’s on ’til.”
On the shortlist for the show is world renowned funny man Michael Barrymore who now lives in Hardshaw St. Local singer and time traveller Rick Astley, Ex news reader Angela Rippon, the talented Timmy Mallet and Michaela Strachan. Ant and Dec were pencilled in to present the show but the producers are concerned that nobody has understood a single word that they’ve said for the past 15 years so replacements are being sought.
An official statement from the makers of the show says “People are sick to the back teeth of watching B list celebs eating kangaroos cocks and shagging each other in sleeping bags. We chose St Helens as the new venue because its nightlife is a vibrant mix of fake Jimmy Choos, oversized shit watches, pierced nipples, and Primark knickers. The whole place smells of mindless violence and casual sex. If you can survive a night here without picking up a fat lip or chlamydia then you deserve to win, It makes the Jungle look like the Ritz, it’s fucking bob on!”