SHCN can confirm that a mystery TV production company are in talks with Jeremy Clarkson this evening about the possibility of a new show to be filmed in St Helens. The show code named ‘Good Gear’ will have a fun new format including Clarkson sampling recreational drugs from the guys who stand with the aftershave in the various bars around the town centre, twatting up and down the link road in a lowered Vauxhall Corsa and addressing issues around the town such as ‘why does Jackson St have a road surface like Mickey Rourke’s scrotum?’
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Clarkson who was ousted from the BBC for being the best presenter that they’ve ever had has almost always been in hot water. Most recently the live wire outraged the world by driving a Porsche through Argentina that had the letters FKL in the registration number which quite obviously is an acronym for “fuck you Argentina, we kicked your arse in the Falklands, you make shit corned beef and your women have hairy arses”.
It is thought that James May will also be in the new show but the small one called gerbil, mouse, hamster or whatever his name is won’t be joining the new team as he’s too busy opening supermarkets and advertising hair products.
A spokesperson for St Helens MBC told us “We’re very excited at the prospect of having Clarkson around the town on a regular basis, He should fit straight in at the town hall as we’re all a bunch of piss takers.”