English Rose Joanna Lumley is to take elocution lessons in Parr. SHCN have learned this week that Joanna feels that she is being overlooked for the more gritty acting parts as her quintessentially English voice is too posh. Speaking with Joanna earlier this week she told us, “I have never been selected to play a part other than someone posh, even when I’ve played Patsy from Ab Fab I was posh, I want to act in some normal parts like Corrie or Shameless but for that I need to drop my accent”
Joanna will be spending a month with retired Miner Albert Shaw at his home on Derbyshire Hill Road in Parr, It is there that she will learn how to speak ‘Northern’ and also learn a bit of Northern Etiquette. Albert has taught other celebrities how to be uncouth in the past, amongst his former students are, Bernard Manning, Caroline Aherne and Britney Spears. We caught up with Albert earlier today and asked him what he had planned for Joanna.
“Well first off she’ll get no special treatment ‘ere, I’ll show ‘er wer’ frying pan is and tell ‘er ‘ow I like me eggs and we’ll tak’ it from theer, She can come wi’ me at dinner t’ Cherry Tree and have a pint too, none o’ tha’ girly fuckin’ ‘alf measures. It wont all be ‘ard graft tho’, On Fridays we’ll go t’town for us brekkie and then if ‘t’lass ‘as made progress i’ll treat ‘er to an ice cream in th’ ardshaw centre and then ‘av a stroll round Willkies. She can ‘elp out round th’ ouse too, it wants front parlour paintin’ ‘afore christmus. She’ll ‘av for live it t’learn it.”
Although we can empathise with Joanna wanting to play other parts we’re worried that losing her terribly British accent will make her less appealing. At 66 she defies her age, she’s an ambassador for all that is British and she’s still definitely worth one, what part her accent plays in the shag score is unknown but we’d rather hear a bird say “darling I’ll be in the bedroom” instead of “I’ll be upstairs when you’re ready fo’ rattle us fatty”
Look out for Joanna around St Helens over the next few weeks