SHCN can exclusively reveal that St Helens is to be the used as the location for a new movie that starts shooting in January. Parr Wars “Return Of The Chav” is a science fiction movie set in the year 2050. Details at the moment are sketchy but It’s thought that the plot involves a war between the Sith Lords of Parr (Lead by Lord Thrifty) and the Rebel Alliance of Eccleston who are allies with the Jedi Metropolitan Borough Council.
The battle begins when Luke Slyfucker uncovers a plot by the Sith Lord ‘Darth Purps” to capture the gold bus from the Arriva Depot on Jackson St in order to use it in a surprise attack on the Seven Stars. It’s understood that a tribe of pie-eaters from a neighbouring planet assist the Siths in return for an ancient meat & potato recipe that’s believed to be in the Pimbletts vault that lies below the Seven Stars.
Several new droids are being used in the movie code named D2, WD40 and Blue WKD.
The blockbuster producers told SHCN “Auditions are to be held in the Sefton in November, everyone is welcome but bear in mind that there are no black hoodies, tracksuit tops or Rockports in Alderaan, anyone who rocks up dressed like a twat will be treated to a nice big cup of ‘fuck off'”.
We contacted local science fiction historian Johnny Vegas who told us “I’m well fuckin chuffed”.