SHCN has learned of shock plans to sell Parr to an unnamed US rock star allegedly thought to be Justin Bieber. Our reporter Captain Black spoke to a record company executive from the states who told him, ” Hell yea, we are going to buy the whole goddam thing and ship it over here to his ranch in Texas. We are going to take down the whole village brick by fucking brick, including the roads and re construct it over here. We did it with that goddam bridge thing in London and we will do it again, it will be bigger than disneyland,” when asked to elucidate by our reporter he went on, ” My instructions are to buy Parr, everything, the buildings, all the inhabitants, including the peasants. My un named boss saw a Parr tourist video on you tube and instantly fell in love with the place” he said with a wink.
A council spokesman confirmed the plan saying, ” It will be good for Parr and the town in general, when Parr is gone (and its inhabitants) we are going to build a massive car park for the influx of visitors we now have who visit our myriad pound and charity shops and cant find a parking place, We might even build a small park and rename the area to St Helens Park. We’re currently trying to get the Yanks to buy Blackbrook and Haydock too” He said with a smile!
Story by Captain Black