Pete Waterman Goes Too Far!

Pete Waterman Goes Too Far!

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Earlier this week fire crews were called to Pete Watermans old house in Market street, Earlestown after a resident investigating a steam leak in his cellar found a real underground steam railway.

The occupier of the house, a Mr Brian Vater said afterwards, ”I was concerned about increasing settlement and subsidence under the house and put it down to local mining from the Wood and Lyme pits over the last century, however I became convinced that something was wrong when I saw steam rising through the floorboards. I made my way down to the cellar with a pick and shovel to try and find a leak and to my surprise unearthed an old trap door. I decided to call the Fire Brigade to investigate as I was concerned about what lay beneath”

Fire crews arrived at the scene and within minutes the area of Market Street and St Johns Street had been cordoned off. Fire Chief Dick Byrne said ”It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever fuckin seen, there is a Platform there and tracks, and a sign sayin ‘Next Stop Mr Smiths’ . We are gonna have to stay here and wait for the 10:15 and find out whats going on because the station here is unmanned” Later on at around 10:25 a rumbling sound was heard and the faint sound of ‘Ferry Cross The Mersey’ was heard in the distance as the steam engine approached the platform. As the train pulled to a halt Police arrived to detain and question the engineer, a Miss Michaela Strachan from Springwatch.

The whereabouts of Pete Waterman are unknown at the moment but a warrant is out for his arrest and he will be questioned and possibly even charged for damage to properties before the week is out.

Brian later said ”I knew Pete had an obsession with railways but he’s gone too far this time…I wouldnt mind but you can get a train to Bank Quay from Earlestown which is 5 bloody minutes walk from Mr Smiths…the man is a complete nutter…and as for Michaela Strachan she ought to know better…I’d still give her one though”

By Jimmy Savlon