Here at SHCN we are serious about not causing distress to either our readers or indeed the celebrities and organisations that are the subject of our lies. We have code of conduct, standards if you will, we are ethical and we have morals. If you don’t like our morals then we are able to swap them at a moments notice. We’re flexible like that.
We have however, following a recent complaint about our Promotional Video for Parr decided to make an announcement that will hopefully clarify our position as a satirical news provider.
We exist as an entity purely to bring humour into the lives of our fellow men (and women). It is to that end that the promotional video was made, The spurious claims about X Factor judges that we published were untrue, the story of young Harry Styles again untrue. Sadly Gordon Ramsey and Darth Vader are not planning to open a bakery in the town. In fact non of our stories bear any resemblance to the truth.
It is our mission to bring you the biggest pile of shit that we can possibly think up during the course of a day. If there is a shred of truth or hint of a fact in there then it doesn’t go to print. We avoid sensitive issues, Whilst other websites are delivering news about the late Mr Saville, we prefer to avoid such minefields and instead discuss shagging Nans, ponder the drug habits of knitted puppets and generally try to bring a bit of humour to our readers otherwise miserable existences.
If something that you see on this website offends you then simply remind yourself of our mission statement which is “make shit up – make people smile”
If however we fail in our mission then please do bring it to our attention. The best way to get our attention is to deliver your message engraved onto the back of a pair of matching Patek Phillipe gents watches and having two Non English speaking shaved bi sexual females deliver them to our office. If you want to ensure your message gets to the front of the queue then send pizza too ( no sweetcorn).
*Note to celebrities named on this site – We have no money so it’s not worth pursuing us, we’re having a laugh and so would you be if you weren’t stuck in a comedy-cul-de-sac! Chill the fuck out dudes and laugh with us.
**Note to Johnny Vegas – Michael, if you’re reading this, we’ve lost your email address and your agent is a Nazi and wont give it to us. Get in touch, we need to speak with you about something, bring pizza!
Brian Thong & Kenny Lingus – Editors and stuff