Reports are coming in that a Russian Akula submarine with nuclear capabilities has been intercepted in the hotties by St Helens Angling Association. The submarine is the latest show of arrogance by Russian president Vladimir Putin. Only last Thursday two Russian T90 tanks were apprehended on the East Lancs Road near Carr Mill.
A spokesman for Merseyside Police told SHCN “This is getting to be a bit of a worry, We don’t mind defending the town against the odd wide boy in a BMW but our Hyundai patrol cars are no match for a 47 tonne tank.” He went on to say “Putin is no different to any other bully that we’ve encountered. We’ll have no hesitation in hauling the little twat in for questioning if he carries on, I don’t care if he’s into Judo or not, a night in the “College St Hotel” will soon have him seeing the error of his ways”
The Kermlin today issued a statement about the recent activity that read “отвяжись” which according to Google translate means “Fuck Off”