A bizarre offer to save the town centre has been received by the town hall. A letter, which is believed to have been delivered by a raven on Wednesday appears to be written in blood and sets out the terms of a deal whereby the Hellfire coven of Rainford, headed up by Sir Francis Dashwood are offering to restore the town centre to it’s former glory in return for a 50% reduction in council tax for the residents of Rainford, Crank and Crawford village.
The details of how this ancient occult society plan to effect such a turnaround has been kept secret but It is understood that within the text, which is largely penned in Latin are requirements which include the deliverance of two nubiles, a quantity of wicker, a goat and 4 bottles of Martell on the first full moon of November to the Crank Caverns.
Naturally, a return to prosperity for the town centre is something that every St Helens resident would want. The council however are remaining tight lipped about if they plan to accept the bizarre proposal but it’s widely believed that at the moment the purchasing department are struggling locating two nubiles.
We contacted local magician Paul Daniels to ask his opinion and he told us “That’s fucking Magic”
We’ll keep you posted.