Russell Crowe To Rescue St Helens

Russell Crowe To Rescue St Helens

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Russell Crowe St Helens
Russell Crowe Gutted About Pimbletts

Movie Legend and rugby club owner Russell Crowe has vowed to rescue St Helens and return it to it’s former glory, New Zealand born Crowe, co owner of South Sydney Rabbitohs is to visit St Helens to watch his team play against Saints RLFC later this month.

It was during an exclusive SHCN interview with the Master and Commander legend that Crowe made his pledge.

Crowe has always had a soft spot for St Helens after he learnt how to dance at the Regency Dance centre during the 1980’s. He spent many months living here and could often be seen on a night out in Cindys, their foam parties being a particular favourite of his.

Our reporter had asked Russell if he was looking forward to coming back to St Helens after so many years and he replied “I am, I can hardly wait if I’m honest, It’s been a long time since I’ve stayed at the Fleece Hotel and if I close my eyes, I can still taste those Pimbletts steak pies! I hope there’s a Pimbletts shop close to Knowsley Road?”

Our reporter had to point out to the Gladiator star that Pimbletts, The Fleece Hotel and the legendary Knowsley Road stadium were no longer, After a short pause Crowe composed himself and asked in a shaky voice “The kid eating snake in the Hardshaw Centre is still there right? Please tell me KES is still there”.

After hearing the sad news that KES had also gone along with Toy and Hobby, Woolworths, Chelsea Girl, Cindys, and Helena house, Crowes sadness turned to anger, He ended the interview sharpish saying he had to make a few calls.

Our sources indicate that Crowe has since been in contact with the town hall. It’s understood that he’s arranged a meeting with the towns leaders immediately after the match to buy and restore St Helens to how it was in the 1980’s. His office have issued the following statement to St Helens town folk.

“St Helens is under threat, and though I be on the far side of the world, that town is like home to me, St Helens is England! I know there’s not a faint heart amongst you, so it’s every man to his rope or gun, quick’s the word and sharp’s the action!”

We’ve no idea what that means but it makes us want to cheer and stuff.