News from Langtree park is setting the sporting world alight. The new Saints RLFC coach has released his radical plans for next season and in an exclusive interview he told our roving reporter Captain Black, “Its true, I am about to make changes” he went on, “as we all know there is a drastic shortage of top quality players, and I have identified prop forward as a problem position for us since the departure of James Graham, therefore I am taking the unique step of getting in touch with the Cyberdine Corporation in America and we are going to purchase , not one, but two terminators for next season”
Wigan RLFC Totally Against The Idea
Our reporter asked him to explain further, “well”, he said, “can you imagine the carnage? there will be heads and legs scattered everywhere, its just what our fans want to see” . The reaction from Wigan however was not as positive, and a spokesman said, “Wigan are totally against this idea, after all it will give them a bit of an unfair advantage”. A Wire official stated,” We are already thinking of having some of our players genetically modified” when pressed on this he continued, “we are thinking of giving the half backs kangaroo legs, this would give two advantages, one is the obvious, goalkicking would be much more effective, and the second is our backs would be able to leap over the opposition like giant fleas, and in our opinion these steps would nullify the robotic ambition, of other clubs”. The Saints coach did tell our man that cost may be a bit prohibitive, “ these fuckers cost at least six hundred quid each”, its rumoured that both Johnny Vegas and Sir Alan Sugar have said they will chip in, Vegas in particular seemed pleased with idea and stated, “can you imagine being give a hand off by a seven foot robot? it would be worse than a flying head butt by a smack head”. When our reporter told the saints coach however that Terminator is a film and the cyberdine corporation doesn’t exist, he said “shit, back to the drawing board”.
An Exclusive Report by Captain Black for SHCN