Back in the 1970s the Annual St Helens Show held at Sherdley Park was the highlight of the year, crowds flocked in their hundreds from as far away as Whiston to enjoy the spectacular. Amongst the attractions were a military display, a motor show, a flower festival, Dick Shepard car stunts, a beer tent and stalls that sold those weird quaver things that expanded in hot oil.
Year by year and one by one the attractions became fewer as did the visitor numbers until last year that seen just 2 visitors who stood for 10 minutes to watch the only attraction, a cross bred labrador rubbing it’s back on the ground in time to MC Hammers “You can’t touch this”.
It is rumoured that St Helens MBC have grand plans to bring the show back to it’s former glory. The entertainments manager from a well know Las Vegas casino has been acting as advisor. The three day event is thought to include an aerial display involving Euro Fighters, A real life reenactment of the battle of Hastings, Cooking classes with Gordon Ramsey, a working replica of the Rovers Return, Jodrell Bank Observatory ( the actual one) The entire cast of Friends who will be doing face painting, a live launch of the new hydrogen powered Porsche, Firework displays every hour, and stalls selling quail egg salad and swan sandwiches.
It is thought that President Obama will be one of the celebrity visitors and that a parking space on Eaves lane has already been reserved for him.
We contacted St Helens MBC to enquire about the funding of the scheme. A spokesperson told us “We’d wanted to bring the show back for years, and we wanted to make it better than ever before, instead of hook a duck we wanted things like “hook a Fendi” that sort of thing. This year Bob at Hardshaw Brook depot called the town hall to say he’d forgotten to spend the road repair budget before April and that he’d just found 4 million in his middle drawer behind his staples. It was the opportunity we’d been waiting for. The town is already known as the home of Johnny Vegas so we thought why not have a Las Vegas too”
We contacted Wigan Council for their opinion on the planned event but we were told to FUCK OFF!