Many people around the metropolis of St Helens have been outspoken in the local media about the length of time it has taken to dismantle the old Gasometer in Jackson Street. Questions to former owners, British Gas, have proved fruitless with constant rebuffs and lip service answers to questions about the abilities, and the time taken to carry out the task by the demolition company. Local private investigators Pimblett, Livesley and Burchall have carried out some extensive undercover and covert investigations and have gained possession of top secret documents previously contained under the official secrets act and previously stored in a bunker deep under the Town Hall.
As a result it can now be revealed that the structure wasn’t a gasometer at all, but actually a relic from the cold war. The Gasometer was actually a missile silo containing several Intercontinental Ballistic Nuclear Missiles aimed directly at the Soviet Union and Wigan (although the last one is as yet unconfirmed) There was also one in the old Gas Works in Pocket Nook but that was decommissioned many years ago.
Was Burtonwood a Decoy? Some of us may recall the anti-nuclear protestors camped outside the now defunct Burtonwood Airbase who sat for months on the grass outside the base on Burtonwood Road with a firm belief that nuclear missiles and warheads were stored there. It has now come to light that Burtonwood Air base was actually a decoy and as such served no useful purpose other than to deflect interest from the main silos which were spread around the towns of St.Helens, Warrington and Widnes. Also, to further the pretence, the site was obtained from the US Military some years ago by Universal Studios for the filming of war movies. Nuclear Alert?
It was further reported that the fire at the gasometer a few years ago was played down as a simple electrical fire however unknown to the general public a nuclear disaster was narrowly avoided and the smell was explained away as being from the nearby stinky brook. Pimblett, Livesley & Burchall are now investigating other suspected missile sites around the borough. Amongst these is Parr Swimming Pool which is rumoured to contain below it several devices which would exit via a “Thunderbirds Style” moving swimming pool. A statement from them quoted “The safety of our town is paramount and we mean to expose these deceptions.” No-one from St.Helens Council was available for comment The Investigation continues.
SHCN Exclusive by our Cold War Correspondent Davros