Slight Wind Plays Havoc With New Bin Scheme

Slight Wind Plays Havoc With New Bin Scheme

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st helens bin collections

Just a few weeks into the new bin collection scheme and already the cracks are beginning to show. With the increase in wind speed this week the people of St Helens are finding out just how flawed the whole roadside recycling plan is. Tuesday and Wednesday this week provided comical scenes across the town as rubbish was strewn around gardens and roadways with the wind.

A SHCN reader from Eccleston told us “As I left the house on Thursday morning I was greeted with what looked like the flim set of Twister, There were cans, cardboard and plastic bottles everywhere, Peoples gardens were awash with litter and wildlife, What disgusted me however is that amongst the M&S carrier bags that were being blown around the streets I spotted a B&M bag, what does that say to you? It means that rubbish is blowing in from poor areas like Toll Bar and that is simply unacceptable!”

We caught up with one of the operatives that works on one of the big pink ill conceived waste trucks, We asked him how the new scheme was going and his response was “Fuck you”.

Locals have reported an increase in the number of vermin around the town since we’ve been encouraged to bag up our shite and leave it at the side of the road. The local rat population has doubled in just 2 weeks. Experts have warned that the return of the black death is a real possibility. Luckily however, St Helens MBC are hoping to supply a disposable body bag and a handy white cross for your door in order that you may “Bring out yer dead”.

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