Home Headlines St Helens Author Hoping To Write Best Seller

St Helens Author Hoping To Write Best Seller

The St Helens Initiative Trust (SHIT) are urging all the would be writers in the town to put pen to paper and create the next best seller.

Head of the trust, Ivana Mandic told us “St Helens is brimming with raw creativity, We’re talking Charles Bukowski type raw, real life tales that are just waiting to be written,  not like the arse popcorn that JK Rowling churns out. We’re looking for real grit, If someone from St Helens had written the Harry Potter series then we’d have had the young Potter taking full advantage of that invisibility cloak to knock one out in the girls showers. Professor Snape would have had a full hydroponic setup growing skunk in a shed in the Enchanted Forest. It’d would have been a totally different story”

Entries for the competition must be in before 31st of March. The story must involve St Helens and the trust are offering a publishing deal and a possible screen adaptation for the winner.

If you’re stuck for some inspiration then Ivana has provided a few writing prompts below to get your creative juices flowing.

  • During renovations, A brick wall is removed in the basement of the Sefton Pub revealing a concealed elevator.
  • Mushrooms that can only be found growing in Sherdley Park prove to be an elixir of eternal life.
  • Council bosses pass plans to legalise cannabis cafes to boost tourism. Think Amsterdam with less canals and more pound shops.

Local funny man and Fabergé egg specialist Johnny Vegas said “I’m dead good at writing me, I’ve got an idea for a book about a bloke called Wonka who buys Pilks head office and turns it into a chocolate factory. that’d be bob on if that happened.”

If you can’t be arsed writing a novel then why not submit a story to us here at SHCN, we won’t offer you a book deal but we might publish it if it makes us laugh.