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Star Shrek – Rooney Sees Red At Local Cinema

Footballing superstar Wayne Rooney was left a little red faced yesterday when confusion over pal Steven Gerrard’s next career move led to an embarrassing exchange in the foyer of the Cineworld multiplex in St Helens.
It’s reported that movie fan Wayne, a regular at the Chalon Way Cinema, tried to purchase tickets for a film that doesn’t exist much to the amusement of staff and several other movie goers who were in the building at the time.

Sharon Scragg, a single mother of 1 from Warrington said, “I was behind this guy in the queue and overheard him asking for 2 tickets to a new Scouse sci-fi movie, ‘LA GALAXY’, which he said starred a good friend of his from Liverpool, but when the girl behind the counter told him there was no such film he became quite agitated and asked to see a manager, it was at that point I realised it was Wayne Rooney”.

As moments passed and customers became impatient, the Manchester United striker, 29, was heard explaining to staff that he’d read about the Steven Gerrard space movie in a national newspaper under the headline, ‘GERRARD EXCITED OVER LA GALAXY ROLL’.

An employee at the Cineworld multiplex who wishes to remain anonymous told us, “Rather sadly Wayne thought that ‘LA Galaxy’ was a destination for astronauts and Spacemen from Liverpool, as he mistook the LA for scouse slang, as in, ‘Alright there La?’.
We tried to explain that ‘LA Galaxy’ are in fact a US soccer team that Gerrard will join at the end of the season and that the LA is an abbreviation of Los Angeles, but he wouldn’t have any of it and started to shout at us” .

Worse was to come for Wayne when Multiplex manager Gerry Pie , who employees describe as looking like one of Harry Enfield’s Scousers, appeared from the staff room appealing for eveyone to ‘”Calm down, calm down”
It was all too much for the United Ace who unleashed a barrage of expletives before kicking over a Cardboard cut-out of a Hobbit.
Security were called but the star left of his own accord after buying 2 tickets to the afternoon showing of ‘Paddington’.

Speaking Exclusively to SHCN this morning, Wayne said, “Erm obviously it was an honest mistake and erm obviously sometimes I get a little bit angry, but erm I’m going to anger management sessions now and erm hopefully with their help I can kick the habit instead of the Hobbit”.


Story By The Zimmerman