St Helens is bracing itself this morning for a flurry of arse baring activity following the crushing defeat that Saints experienced at the hands of Widnes over the Easter weekend. Avid fans from around the borough pledged to bare their arse in Woolies window if Widnes were victorious. It mattered not that Woolies, always a firm favourite for such a wager no longer had a High St presence in which the aforementioned arses could be publicly displayed as the people who made these bets genuinely believed that a Saints win on Monday was as sure as night followed day. Not in a million years did they expect these bets to be cashed.
Following the demise of Woolworths it is believed that the Director General of the Association of Sporting Surities ( ASS) has suggested that Tyrers is perhaps the best substitute. Tyrers is a highly acclaimed retailer in the town and has excellent shop window frontage suitable for the bearing of arses. It’s common knowledge that any such bets in the past pledged by Eccleston folk have always been modified to “I’ll show my arse in Tyrers window” instead of the original I’ll show my arse in Woolies window” as it’s well known that Eccleston people are classy as fuck. It’s believed that the elders of Eccleston are a little miffed that their beloved purveyors of fine clothes and fragrances will now play host to a plethora of arse exposures from other post code areas.
The showing of arses is expected to go on for a few days as some Eccleston residents who made the bets have fled the country to avoid having to rub arses with the great unwashed from the lesser known postcode areas of town today, they are not expected to return until midweek.