Computer giants Microsoft seemed to have listened to their customers this time. The new Windows 10 harks back to the old days with such things as a start menu and most important of all it couldn’t give a frogs fat arse whether you safely eject your USB drive or just pull it out willy nilly.
A spokesperson for Microsoft told us, “We had to turn back the clock a bit, Windows 8 was a fucking disaster largely because we genuinely thought that all our customers had 90 inch touch screen technology in each room of their homes. It’s only when we realised that most of our customers are actually peasants wanting to run our software on old Toshiba laptops from eBay that we realised we needed to roll it back a bit. With that in mind we figured we’d lose the big brother approach too and be a little more relaxed. If you want to pull your USB out mid transfer then Windows 10 simply won’t give a flying fuck, instead of displaying the usual warning on screen about safely ejecting hardware it’ll instead give a random compliment based on it’s mood that day such as ‘way to go cowboy’, or ‘you big sexy bastard’ we’re thinking it’ll be an instant hit.”
Tech boffins are heralding Windows 10 as the saviour of the PC whilst Apple and Mac users can be seen in Costa and Starbucks making and answering calls on their MacBooks to prove their chosen brands superiority.