In the future people will ask “Where were you when you heard the truth about Johnny Welly, Today will go down in history along with “where were you when Elvis died” SHCN bring you a world exclusive.
After months of in depth investigation we are able to disclose the true identity of the local legend Johnny Welly, Johnny, a well known character around St Helens has a secret that has been well hidden until today. Hiding behind the smoke and mirror facade of destitution and bad behaviour Johnny is no other than Hollywood celebrity Robert DeNiro.
We followed Johnny extensively and tracked him down to his luxury apartment at Eccleston Hall. After we had gathered enough evidence we approached him as he entered the plush foyer and caught him off guard by calling him Robert.
At first De Niro was disorientated and that quickly gave way to anger “You talking to me? You talking to me? Well Im the only one here, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” This went on for some time until eventually he knew the game was up. De Niro invited us into his apartment and after he’d changed into a white shirt and dinner jacket he had his butler serve us some drinks in his study.
De Niro explained to us that he had starting acting at an early age, where ever he went he was recognised, he had never truly known freedom, never had the ability to walk the streets getting wankered and not being known. That is why he came up with his alter ego Johnny Welly,
“Being Johnny is liberating, I can fart and spit and generally do what the fuck I want without fear of being judged, The problem is however, that people of the town have for some reason singled Johnny out as a celebrity in his own right so the fun has gone out of it now. In a way, I’m relieved you’ve blown it for me.”
De Niro came to St Helens after filming GoodFellas in which he played Jimmy Conway, His grandfather used to work at Pilkingtons and lived on Cherry Tree Drive as Robert was growing up. De Niro had fond childhood memories of the town. “St Helens feels like home to me” he told us.
We asked Robert what his plans were now that we’d uncovered the truth. He looked at us with that famous menacing De Niro look, and said “What truth? What did I tell you? What?”
We have a feeling you’ll still see Johnny on the streets for some time to come.
This has been a world exclusive from St Helens Celebrity News.