After recent sightings of the legendary bigfoot or Yeti as some call it, in the vicinity of Garswood and Haydock, renowned cryptozoologist and fur trapper David Attenborough is believed to be heading for St Helens, in an exclusive interview with Captain Black, he stated, “I have recieved numerous reports from concerned members of the public, and I’m now setting up an expedition into Haydock and maybe even as far afield as Garswood, obviously I am coming into this well armed” he said showing me his 303 hunting rifle.
He went on, “I hope it doesnt come down to a fight, but if it does this chap will do the job”, he stated with a cheeky grin. Meanwhile Johnny Vegas has said, “I didnt really believe it myself, ’til I saw it going into a chippy in Parr. It was fucking huge, its feet were bigger than Andy Farrels head, I never saw anything like it in my life, mind you I could be wrong,” he said with a wry smile. One local I interviewed however said, “fuck me, its just Purps with his white huggy bear fur coat on”.