Disguarded Pastry

Bernie Cunliffe, a Tellins man all his life fatally slipped on a disguarded sausage roll outside a well known bakery in St Helens on Tuesday.
Bernie,51, slipped on the fatty snack while on his way to H Samuels to purchase a collectable porcelain green dragon.
Mrs Cunliffe said "one minute he was there discussing the local litter issues and the next he was flat on his back, pastry everywhere".
This has sparked an anti pastry campaign in the town, leading to all pasties, sausage rolls and pies being made without pastry.
Jim Pickleshawl of "Pickles Plastic Forks" just off Jackson Street, St Helens said "Sales have gone up, I am forking speachless"...
Police are now on the lookout for anyone with a history of disguarding pastry and claim to be closing in on a known pastry abuser from the Windle area.
More details to follow next week...

Submitted by Pablos Abdapolopolis