More pie revelations - Winning Wigan DNA found - contributed by Mutley
American scientists have extracted what they call 'Winning DNA' from a fossilised Pools pie!
In a shock announcement in the posh southern medical mag 'The Lancet' the story is revealed..
WILLY MOSTON, Wigan Rugby Ace from the Dark Ages as well as playing Rugby, was in his spare time an Arctic explorer. Maurice Windbag (a local self-made millionaire and part time Cuckoo clock restorer) in a last ditch attempt to revive Wigan's cup fortunes paid Californian scientists ten million dollars to try to clone DNA of the now long dead Wigan player.
From extracts in Willies Journal they where able to retrace his steps and after three months searching in Antarctica they found in an abandoned Sherpa Hut a half eaten Pools Pie frozen solid next to a bag of Uncle Joes mint balls.
The scientists took this back to California and for the next 2 years extracted the DNA from the pie. At first they had little success as they managed to `bring back' three horses and a Tomcat. The scientists were baffled as to how this DNA had managed to find its way into the Pie but they soldiered on. Finally they rang Mr Windbag with good news. They had indeed found complete strands of Willy Mostons DNA from traces of saliva found in the Pie.
Using state of the art `Gene Splicing' they managed to genetically enhance three Wigan players. When the three players came round from the surgery they where asked to watch a couple of Wigan's old Super League games on VHS so they could give the rest of the team some pointers.
Unfortunately they were so dismayed at what they saw they all left the club! The players who have asked to remained nameless (so we will call them Jason, Sean and David) gave this joint statement:
"Once the Willy Moston DNA had kicked in and we watched the games we couldnt believe how crap Wigan where and had to leave straight away!"
(Jason) as luck would have it was out of contract so he left for Union. (Sean) fained a bad knee injury to be released from his contract and went to join a 'decent club'. David had it away with all the other players wives until they had to let him go. As the rest of the team said "If that randy bugger stays he's going to get tw*tted!"
Maurice Windbag declined to comment on the rumour.
