Jamie Oliver Acquires Spicey Chicken
Top TV chef and self-styled jack-the-lad, Jamie Oliver has recently bought the long-standing home of culinary excellence, The Spicy Chicken in St Helens.
The cheeky cockney had been interested in the establishment ever since his recent visit to the town for a night out. Oliver, originally from Fingerpost, returned to the town to attend a stag night for his mate, Daz Flangefettler.
"Me and Daz got up to some serious malarkey that night", the chef quipped in confidence, "I hope Jules doesn't find out what we were up to, suffice to say that it involved three birds from Pocket Nook, a tub of raspberry ripple ice cream, a policeman's truncheon and a ferret." "On our way home, we called in at the Spicy Chicken for some tukka. And I'll tell you what, it was fackin' pukka tukka, my son".
In fact, Oliver was so impressed with the purveyors of poultry that, the next day, he got straight on the blower to Norman Wankmeister the shop's owner. At first, proud owner Wankmeister was very reluctant to let the takeaway go, as he was so attached to it. However, on hearing the TV celebrity's extravagant offer, Norman was overheard saying that he "couldn't give a shit about the place".
Oliver's PR people in London have been hard at workpromoting his new venture. "Jamie's made up with
buying the Spicy Chicken and he's got some great ideas about developing the business. He's thinking of changing the name to fit in with the times, and we've already developed a new sign for the outside. I hope you 'Tellinsers will appreciate the changes, only time will tell."
The 'new look' Spicy Chicken
Jamie Oliver is also in negotiations with Larkins, North Road, St Helens.
