Elton John shuns move to Clock Face
The multi-millionaire and well-known uphill gardener, Elton John has shocked local residents by abandoning his planned move to the Clock Face area of St Helens.
The extravagant rock star, known for his excessive spending and coke snorting blames the decision on the escalating house prices in the area.
Pricey
Our reporter tracked him down to his villa in Filey, Yorkshire, where the Rocket Man stated "Yes I was planning on moving to Clock, but it's just too pricey. Property has gone through the roof just lately. I had made an offer on a lovely little cottage and then some twat went and gazumped me!"
The property in question was a two bedroomed terrace in good condition with double glazing and Economy 7 heating. Elton was reported to have 'fallen in love' with the area after waking up in a local hairdresser's bed after a bender at Flex, Cotham Street.
However, friends of the glamour queen have suggested a more sinister theory to the reason for his change of plans. One insider said "it's that David Furnish. Elton's well under the thumb with him." Furnish, originally from Wigan, has allegedly put the blockers on the couples move because he doesn't like the pies in St Helens!
Shite
Once again, our reporter set about finding the truth. After days of tracking down the former welder, Furnish was spotted in a nightclub in Leigh. Eventually, he cracked and admitted "Yes, alright it's true, Pimmies pies are shite!"
