STUDENT IN PIE SHOCK HORROR PROBE SENSATION

A St Helens College student was said to be ‘severely shocked and embarrassed’ today after a horror incident round the back of the Nat West Bank. Our reporter caught up with student Hercules Mc Aspirin as he recovered at home. Hercules, who is studying GNVQ in Pub Singing (with Karaoke options), was still visibly shaken as he described his ordeal.

“I was walking towards the college entrance eating a Galloway’s Chunky Steak Pie, when I suddenly tripped. The pie flew out of my hand and to my horror I saw it fly through the air and land straight in a litter bin! It was awful…I’ve never been so f*****n shocked in my life. I had to go and buy another one to throw on the street.”