Madeley back up to his old tricks - warning some people may find this offensive
There’s an old saying the a leopard can’t change it’s spots. Although we’re not talking about acne (which can be helped by products like Clearasil and OXY 10), it seems that the smooth chat show host Richard Madeley is one permanently poxy bastard.
Several years ago, Madeley was remanded in custody, and spent 6 months in Walton Prison, Liverpool, after a badly-planned robbery at Threshers Off Licence went wrong. At the time, the seemingly-sophisticated presenter tried to pass off the heist as a genuine mistake, claiming that he merely walked out with a bottle of wine after he had forgotten to pay. Now, St Helens Celebrity News can reveal that this excuse was a load of bollocks and that the scoundrel has been up to his old tricks again.
A local woman (name and address withheld), was innocently out shopping in Fingerpost when she became suspicious about a tall man, fitting Madeley’s description.
The woman explained ‘I was minding me own business, checkin’ out the bargains in Mr Thrifty’s, when I noticed a man who was about the same size as Richard Madeley with a balaclava on his head. I knew it was him cos he had a posh suit on, and no-one wears them round here, so I went up to him and said ‘are you Richard Madeley?’
The woman continues ‘He was dead rude. He just mumbled ‘fuck off’ through his balaclava and quickly barged his way past me. As he elbowed me, a few tins dropped on the floor, that he was hiding up his jacket. Madeley then ran towards the wine section and all hell broke loose.
A far cry from his clean cut image on TV, Madeley violently grabbed the shop assistant and pulled out a sawn-off shot gun, which he had been hiding under his posh blue pinstripe suit.
‘Right you motherfuckers, get all the fucking wine in this bag now or I’ll blow all your motherfucking brains out’ Madeley screamed. In a state of panic, the shop assistant did as he said and Madelely quickly ran for the door, punching an old lady in the face as he left.
Another anonymous witness saw what happened outside. ‘As Madeley rushed out of Thrifty’s he ran up to an Austin Allegro, parked on the front. And guess who was in the driving seat? Only his wife, Judy bloody Finnegan’.
‘Come on bitch’, the presenter shouted, ‘Get the motherfucking car started’. ‘Just chill bro, I’m trying to motherfucking start the motherfucker’ Judy was heard replying.
With that, the Allegro spluttered into action. With a screech of brakes Finnegan quickly did a three point turn and sped off down Higher Parr Street in a cloud of fumes. Our witness added ‘As the car was driving off, Madeley could be clearly seen, leaning out of the window, with his
gun pointing at the unfortunate pensioners in the queue outside the Post Office. ‘Just you motherfuckingwell try it, punks!’ he shouted aggressively as Judy waited for the lights to change. And on a flash of green, as if enough proof had not been gained, the couple sped off down Jackson Street, exactly the right way to get to the M62 and therefore, their home in London.
Police are reported to be looking into the matter further, following the discovery of an abandoned Austin Allegro near Richard and Judy’s home in London.
